Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Randomize
