Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
