You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
