You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
