Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
