I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I fill condoms, not promises.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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