Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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