Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
