He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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