I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
