I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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