I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
