It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
