I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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