Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
