I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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