There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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