so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
