she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
