brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
