I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you will always have a special place in my vag
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
