i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
