just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
