Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
