honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
