some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
