He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
