Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
