Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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