I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
