My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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