if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
