What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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