He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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