I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
