Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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