Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
