im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
