i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
