Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
