But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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