Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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