you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need a beard to bite.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
