Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
