The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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