What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
