I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
