hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
