I hate your face
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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