My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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