You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
